Sometimes [like most of the time], I want to have everything wrapped up. I want to get an answer from God in a neat little package, instead of having an ongoing conversation with Him.
However, sometimes, [like most of the time], following Jesus means living with the unanswered and the unfinished. The ‘answer’ is not to figure life out. It is looking to Jesus, and listening to Him. It is following His lead and not the often warped and distorted movement of my broken heart. However I am feeling, Jesus wants me stay with Him.
Sometimes [like most of the time], it will be messy. But Jesus invites me to draw closer to Him–and not listen to the accuser. Because although there are lots of good, honest questions to ask God, the accuser’s questions are designed to get me to turn away, such as:
“Where is your God?”
“Did God really say…?”
“How long will He make you suffer?”
“Aren’t you tired of trusting?”
So when I can’t put it all together, and when I can’t find that neat answer I want, I’ll remember this:
Sometimes [like most of the time], the question isn’t something to be figured out. It is something to be lived. Because really it’s not an answer I seek. It’s a person, Jesus.